What To Do When You’re Struggling To Feel Relevant and Purposeful
November 11, 2019
Are you struggling to feel relevant and purposeful in some area of your life? This can be any place where we think we don’t matter as much as we’d like to or used to. Christ followers know that we are of great value to God but when humans don’t echo that, well, it stings and can be discouraging.
Many years ago, when God called my husband Ken and I out of ministry into the marketplace for a while, I transitioned from being a worship arts director, leading three different services a week, to one of 35 sopranos in our new church’s large choir. The first two rows seated the brightest and best of the sopranos. I started in the third row.
The abrupt change from lead dog to follower, created weird sensations inside me. I felt unnecessary. Eventually, God restored me to leadership ministry but first taught me some deeper lessons about humility. That time in God’s waiting room, stirred up junk I didn’t know was inside me and provided the opportunity for God to cleanse me and change me.
There are so many circumstances that can make people feel like a rotary dial phone surrounded by smart phones.
All your kids fly the coop, and you’re left with a house of deafening silence and recipes for six.
Someone else got the promotion you deserved at work while you’re still slogging it out in your cubicle.
Your last preschooler climbed onto the kindergarten bus. You stare at jelly hand prints on the walls with tears in your eyes.
Your spouse died and your couple friends don’t know quite what
to do with you.
Retirement isn’t quite as meaningful as you imagined. Your adult children don’t have as much time for you as you expected, and you feel purposeless and unproductive.
You’ve been trying to have a baby for years and the pain of that is hard enough, but most of your friends are knee deep in diapers and Legos and conversations have become awkward.
Whatever set of circumstances is conspiring to make you feel less-than, in any way, take heart. The great news is that you are strategically located in a place where God often looks for candidates for his next great story. Think with me for just a moment, about the people God likes to partner with to accomplish miraculous stuff.
The Israelite’s were slaves, treated like animals, when God pulled them out of Egypt and chose them to be a light for the nations of the world. The rest of ancient civilization knew little about them, except for their brick making skills.
Gideon was one of the smallest men of his tribe and by his own words, lacked courage.
Noah was a faithful man of God but clearly, the people around him didn’t think he was anything special since no one else believed God through his testimony and joined his family on the ark
Mary, the mother of Jesus, was a nobody teenager from nowheresville.
David’s brothers and father deliberately minimized him when the prophet Samuel came looking for God’s next anointed King. They still didn’t recognize God’s favor on him when he showed up on the battlefield volunteering to fight Goliath.
If you feel like the unused coffee cup at the back of the cupboard, I’m telling you, that’s where God will hunt for a useful mug. As I’ve noticed the way God directs the changing seasons of my life, I’ve learned to relax in the truth that my life is a treasure, masking as a jar, or mug of clay. (2 Corinthians 4:7) Ceramic ware becomes stained, cracked and worn out and eventually useless when it’s heavily used non-stop. So too would we, if God didn’t provide resting places between our seasons of life. Thus, sometimes we feel back shelved and unconnected.
When God moves us into a back row or simply a different row, it’s often because he wants to do some interior work in us. He needs to remove the coffee stains that the acid of trials left inside of us. We may need cracks repaired from our hearts, minds or bodies being broken. Sometimes he breaks us up entirely and does a completely different work, setting us into new relationships, careers or opportunities, just like those recycled mosaics that are made of broken ceramic dishware. My husband Ken attended seminary to become a pastor. Never did he dream that God would make him a successful business owner for several years.
In Zechariah 4:10, I found this precious verse that encourages me when I’m feeling like the unused mug. “For whoever has despised the day of small things shall rejoice and shall see the plumb line in the hand of Zerubbabel.” Zerubbabel was the governor of Judea, overseeing the rebuilding of the temple during the time of the prophets Haggai and Zechariah. The construction lagged and workers sagged for twenty, discouraging years of “small things,” progress-wise. I love what the Enduring Word commentary says about this verse.
“In many of God’s choice workers He uses a powerful season of small things. Those days are not a mistake nor are they punishment; they are days of priceless shaping and preparation. They are not days to despise. When Satan tempts us to despise the day of small things, he shines as an outstanding liar because Satan does not despise the day of small things. Satan fears the day of small things in our life because he sees what great things God does in them and brings out of them.”
If you are currently in a back-row spot in some area of your life that does not mean you are no longer relevant, and your life is not purposeful. Often, process matters much more to God than product. I encourage you to relax and submit to God’s methods. If you remain humble and obedient, he will use this time to prepare you for the next part of your unique destiny. Don’t despise your “day of small things.”